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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was actually sent by the supermarket’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set multiple alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... And watched what happened.
4. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
5. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.
6. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
7.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror and picked his nose.
8. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
9. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
10.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
11. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
. . . and; last, but not least:
12. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Outstanding British film
WINNER: The Favourite
Stan & Ollie
You Were Never Really Here
Best animated film
Isle of Dogs
WINNER: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Best supporting actress
Amy Adams – Vice
Claire Foy – First Man
Emma Stone – The Favourite
Margot Robbie – Mary Queen of Scots
WINNER: Rachel Weisz – The Favourite
Best supporting actor
Adam Driver – BlacKkKlansman
WINNER: Mahershala Ali – Green Book
Richard E Grant – Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Rockwell – Vice
Timothée Chalamet – Beautiful Boy
BlacKkKlansman – Spike Lee
Cold War – Paweł Pawlikowski
The Favourite – Yorgos Lanthimos
WINNER: Roma – Alfonso Cuarón
A Star Is Born – Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper – A Star Is Born
Christian Bale – Vice
WINNER: Rami Malek – Bohemian Rhapsody
Steve Coogan – Stan & Ollie
Viggo Mortensen – Green Book
Glenn Close – The Wife
Lady Gaga – A Star Is Born
Melissa McCarthy – Can You Ever Forgive Me?
WINNER: Olivia Colman – The Favourite
Viola Davis – Widows
A Star Is Born
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– Little Johnny, why is your little sister crying?
– Because I helped her.
– But that's a kind thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her jelly beans.