For the burger:
Place 340g minced beef in a bowl, crack in an egg and mix, forming four patties. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and black pepper. Fry in a dry, non-stick pan for 4-5 minutes on each side, until cooked through add a slice of lean smoked bacon for each burger. Meanwhile, mix together 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 1 teaspoon tomato ketchup and 1 small gherkin, chopped finely. Split a sesame seed bun, smear with the sauce and slide in the burger with bacon on top — along with shredded iceberg lettuce and slices of tomato.
Double the ingredients to make larger burgers!
Cost - too various to suggest but from around £1.60 to £3.00+ each.
Try different flavours and different versions:
Add smokey bbq sauce or smoked paprika and smoked cheese for a change. Add a little fresh mint on top of the burger.
Substitute pork steak or lamb or slices of roast beef or slices of roast chicken for the burger
Try serving with crispy chunky chips and a runny fried egg on top!
Serve with a glass of ice cold cider for a change.
Afterwards, go for a run round the block or two before you try the 'Proper Trifle' further down!!
Prep time cake 20 mins. Cook time cake 60-70 mins
Prep time trifle 20-25 mins + unattended chill times in fridge
Cost around £3.90 inc gas.
The picture is an example of how you can build this trifle if you have the time. Otherwise stick to the suggestion below - just as delicious whichever way!
This trifle cries out for home made sponge cake and not shop-bought cake or swiss rolls! For the home-baked sponge cake base, you will need:
8 oz sugar
8 oz butter or spread
3 medium eggs
Beat all together until smooth (food processor or muscle power!)
Add in 8 oz self-raising flour
Add in 4 desert-spoons milk
Beat all together until smooth
Take a (big enough) Pyrex / oven-proof bowl
Lightly Grease with butter
Lightly Dust all over inside with flour, shake off excess into sink
This process stops the mix from sticking when cooked
Baking the cake:
Place in pre-heated oven at 170 fan for one hour. Don’t open oven door or the cake will sink!
Gently and slowly open oven a few inches and press the top – if it feels firm, take it out. If not give it another 10 mins until it does. If you're unsure, use a kebab-type skewer or very narrow and thin knife to prod through the middel, if it comes out clean, the cake is done. Don’t be tempted to turn up the oven, that will burn the top but not cook the inside! WATCH YOUR HANDS ON OVEN.
Remove from Pyrex bowl by sliding a thin bendy spatular between the cake and the bowl. Place on a breadboard (if possible) and leave to cool for ½ hour.
Slice the top 1/3rd off the cake and set aside (to scoff separately with some strawberry or apricot Jam!).
Keep the Pyrex bowl for the next stage or find a similar size ‘serving bowl’ for table presentation.
Place the cooled cake back in the pyrex or the 'table bowl'.
For the trifle you will need:
Strawberry jelly that makes a pint - use ¾ pint for the trifle (eat the other ¼ pint)
Tin of mandarin oranges (broken pieces is fine and half the price) remove or drink the juice!
Tin of good custard (or make your own – it’s not difficult, Google a recipe for 'simple' custard).
Strawberry Angel delight.
Dissolve the jelly in ½ pint boiling water, then add ½ pint cold water and pour evenly over the sponge base.
Spread the mandarins evenly over the top.
Place in fridge for a couple of hours until jelly is cold throughout.
When cold add the custard over the top and put back in fridge for ½ hour
Make the angel delight, spread straight away over the custard and let it set.
Whisk the double cream (not too stiff or it wont spread) and spread over the angel delight
You can add pieces of fruit, crushed biscuits or chocolate or other ‘sprinkles’ on top if you like.
Place back in fridge for an hour so it’s nicely chilled before serving
Eat your trifle with a glass of Prosecco, or anything sparkly, even sweet cider - Yummmm!
You can vary the layers to suit yourself, change the fruit or flavours of jelly and Angel Delight, add 1/2 teacup of sweet sherry (to taste) evenly over the sponge before adding the jelly and use colour and layers to create the dramatic - like the picture - it's all up to you, but it will be scrummy!
When you've eaten a mega burger and some trifle, prepare for some serious gym time, or more "I don't care" fizz!
Seen in the Personal Ads section of the local paper:
"My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children any more. So anybody who wants one can give us their address and we will send you one."